GOT KEYS? THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO WALK THRU TOWN AT NIGHT AND COMMAND RESPECT FROM RUFFIANS? WELL ATTACH THIS KEYRING TO YOUR KEYS AND ANY UNDESIRABLES WILL JUST WALK ON BY. MAYBE EVEN DOTH THEY CAP. EVERYONE RESPECTS PEOPLE WITH GOOD TASTE IN CONDIMENTS AND IF THEY'RE ANTI TUBBY THERE TIME ON THIS PLANET WILL BE SHORT.
ENJOY